Dear Hallmark
Dear Hallmark:
I have been a faithful Hallmark customer and I am hoping you can help me out with this small request. I have looked for a card expressing a particular sentiment but have so far been unable to find one. I need a card that says something like:
Sorry my dog peed on your bathroom rug (again).
If you have a card like this in stock or could whip one up, that would be terrific.
Signed,
Jodie Snyder
Gold Crown Member #8250q5q0qt7
I could use a card that says “Sorry my dog peed on you”! I wish it was just the bathroom rug but Peaches sometimes gets too excited when guests come to visit.
You mean this dog? Friends with dogs who have similar excitement issues just have dogs meet visitors outside. It saves on laundry 🙂
Jodie Snyder
Gold Crown Member #8250q5q0qt7
Phoenix, Arizona
Dear Ms. Snyder,
Thank you Ms. Snyder for your valuable suggestion for a new Hallmark © card. As you know Hallmark introduces almost 20,000 Cards annually and is always looking for something that meets the important needs and sentiments of our world-wide loyal customers.
We immediately forwarded your idea to our Product Development Division who deliberated and then asked for input from our very reliable POOCH PANEL. Here are some of their comments:
SPARKY: “What’s the issue? At least he uses the Bathroom!”
OL’ YELLER: “What’s a bathroom?”
DUMBEST: “Let’s go wit the theme ‘To Err is Human, to Forgive Canine’.”
PEDRO: “Don’t ask me. I can’t even reach the bathroom drinking fountain!”
MARLEY: “I have my OWN bathroom with a Cashmere Rug…CASHmere, get it?”
ROSCOE: “Why are WE always to blame? Are there any felines running loose on the property? And what about those humans who have errant aim? That’s apparently a taboo topic among humans!”
So we remain at a standstill. But you may recall that Hallmark entered into an agreement with Microsoft and created the “Greeting Workshop”software program that retails at less than $10 and is available at most Hallmark Gold Crown stores. Perhaps you’d like to try some custom cards for this topic? And if we use them, we would of course give you a royalty of 0.000001%! These stores are independently franchised but we do get a small cut on sales and receive all of the purchasing data. (and we notice that you must be buying your Valentine’s Day cards elsewhere Ms. Snyder?)
And please ignore those FREE card printing sites like
http://www.printable-greetings.com/
We will keep working at it. In the meantime a new bathroom rug might make a great Valentine’s Day gift along with a Hallmark V-D card.
Sincerely, Woof-woof!
Hallmark Product Development Division Pooch Panel