Artie the Beagle and I have a pact: We don’t tell each other what to wear. That being said, I am bummed that there is no dog in costume running around the house this Halloween. But Artie chooses nakedness over costume every single time.

Halloween is my favorite. The holiday happens just as the Phoenix weather has chilled somewhat. It involves no gift giving and it provides a chance to let your secret self shine through, whether you are a closet gore-master or wanna-be fairy princess. It’s just your chance to be someone completely different for at least a night.

Maybe we get Halloween costumes for our dogs’ so we can see their other personalities come out to play. Costume stores say their sales of dog costumes are doubling every year. Hmmm, which came first – the incredibly cute costumes or the demand for incredibly cute dog costumes – hard to say. But there are some great ones out there:

I especially love this one. It’s a nice take on Artie’s relationship with the neighborhood’s UPS driver.

Halloween Dog Costume Contests/Events

And where to go once you have selected the perfect costume. The metro Phoenix weather is perfect now for nighttime events. Here’s a list of terrific Halloween spots for you and the dog that offer canines costume contests and prizes for their humans:

• Oct. 21 – Halloween Spooktacular & Car Show The Shops at Nortierra , 2460 W. Happy Valley Road, Phoenix 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

• Oct. 22 — Beagles, Brews and Boo Spokes on Southern, 1470 E. Southern, Tempe, 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
• Oct. 26 – Howl-o-ween at W, 7277 E. Camleback, Scottsdale, 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.
• Oct. 26 – Howl-o-ween at Omni Montelucia 4949 E. Lincoln Drive, Scottsdale 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

• Oct. 26 — Scottsdale Fall Festival: 2311 N. Miller Road, Canine costume at 8:35 p.m.
• Oct. 29 — Howl-o-ween K9 Costume Contest,  1035 N. Idaho Road,  Apache Junction, 7 p.m.
• Oct. 29 — Yappy Hour Halloween Costume Party: Desoto Market, 915 N. Central, Phoenix 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
• Oct. 30 — Halloweenie, Short Leash Hot Dogs, 110 E. Roosevelt, Phoenix, Noon to 2 p.m.
• Oct. 30 – Bark-o-ween, Arcadia O.H.S.O. Eatery + Nano-Brewery, 4900 E. Indian School Road, Phoenix, 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.
• Oct. 30 — Howl-o-wee Bash Smelly Dog, 5033 N. 7th Ave., Phoenix, 3 p.m.
• Oct. 31 Halloween in the Hills Avenue of the Fountains, Fountain Hills, Contest begins at 5:45 p.m.

Ah, the Chihuahua, such a misunderstood dog. Yappy, snappy, reminds us of a boss with a Napoleonic complex. And to be completely honest, I have not always appreciated Chihuahuas. But in the spirit of Cinco de Mayo and all things Mexican, let’s look at ten really good reasons to love a Chihuahua:

1. They are built for speed. Check out Chandler’s annual Chihuahua races.
2. They are built for desert climates. They love being warm and burrowing under covers and sleeping flush up against you.
3. If you buy one big ol’ bag of dog food, it can last a year if you have a Chihuahua
4. At two to six pounds, the Chihuahua is the smallest breed in the world. No upper body strength? No problem. You can still carry your Chihuahua around.
5. Learning how to spell Chihuahua correctly boosts your IQ
6. Chihuahuas are one of the oldest registered breeds in America; they were recognized in 1904.
7. Chihuahuas, or dogs just like them, are believed to date back to 5^th century AD. They were breed as the forerunner of the doorbell.
8. They seem to be OK with wearing funny hats
9. What we see as incredible unfriendliness bordering on psychosis is just a Chihuahua protecting their person.
10. Just like with any other dog, a Chihuahua’s behavior depends on how he was raised and the experiences he has encountered.

You have wrassled the dog into the car and out of the car. You’ve avoided the big dogs and the angry dogs in the waiting room (looking at you, snippy Yorkshire).

You’ve waited for the diagnosis, going back and forth between worrying about the dog, worrying about paying for it and feeling bad that you are worried about the money as well as the dog.

Have I mentioned that you have taken time off work and you are worrying about The Boss (not the Springsteen kind)

And then you have to schlep the dog back to the car.

And even though, it’s 9 a.m. and you are not a functional alcoholic, you are thinking, God, a drink would be lovely now.

And that’s where my awesome money-making idea comes into play.

Frozen margarita stands outside of vet offices.

Boom!

Something for the dog; something for you.

Not a really heavy drink but just a suggestion of alcohol to make you take a breath and realize it will all be OK. Nothing that will impair your driving at all.

And say, there are some kind of city rules that prohibit this. Well, why not have a bar set up in the vet’s office. Or at least margarita pops. Or flasks. Or rum balls. Just something.

I share this idea with you first before I race to the U.S. Patent Office, the Arizona Corporation Commission and other pertinent authorities.

But I will be back when I launch my IPO and am looking for investors – get in on the ground floor now before I expand into pediatricians offices, which will be just as lucrative as the vets.

You know this is a good idea.